Tales from the Bonfire | A Scar I Can’t Show Anyone
Tales from the Bonfire | Oct 04, 2021
Tales from the Bonfire | A Scar I Can’t Show Anyone

Clint Hepner

While doing a skydiving demonstration jump, the winds kicked up significantly. On landing, in order to avoid power lines, I hit a fence, running into one of the corner posts so hard, I bent it several inches.

After I got to someplace more private, I tried to evaluate the damage to myself and decided I needed some medical assistance. I walked into the emergency room and let them know I had injured myself between the first and second most embarrassing parts of my body. (Boy, the look the nurse gave me when she was trying to analyze that statement!) Before long, the nurses had me in maternity stirrups. I had a deep laceration in my perineum, an area women sometimes tear during childbirth. They called in a general surgeon (glad it was not a gynecologist).

My hospital bed was in an area that provided only curtains for privacy, and those were not completely closed. While sitting there with my legs in the stirrups and the all-female medical staff working on my bottom end, I noticed a man standing there with his two pre-teen children. My thought was, “If I can see them, they can see me.” I asked the nurse if she could close the curtain. I am sure the man had a story to tell his wife when he got home, and I hope the kids were okay.

The surgeon had an access problem, so they removed the stirrups and rolled me on to my belly. They taped open my butt cheeks to the table to complete the stitching task. I walked out of the ER with several stitches and a new-mom goody bag (pads and elastic belt).

When those strong winds kicked up, I knew I was in trouble since I was over a city. The forces involved in bending a fence post could have easily resulted in several fractures. I was extremely fortunate I was able to walk away from my landing with only some stitches and a funny story to tell about it. 

Clint Hepner | D-7816
Chandler, Arizona

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